Conspiracy theorists believe the Bohemian Groves idyllic grounds, in northern California, are host to right-wing, old-boy machinations about the New World Order. Honorary member Richard Nixon, meanwhile, called it the most faggy goddamned thing you could ever imagine. For V.F. contributing editor Alex Shoumatoff, who was arrested for trespassing at last years encampment while investigating the clubs forestry practices, the most suspicious activity that takes place in the grove is the alleged logging of old-growth redwood trees. But common to all reports from the two-week-long gathering of the countrys rich and powerful old guardmembers have included every Republican president since Coolidgeis an account of profuse outdoor urination. With gin fizzes being poured at seven a.m., so many enlarged prostates, and such majestic natural urinals, whos surprised? We present to you a guide to the Bohemian Grove, including a map of the premises, highlights of the events, and a list of prominent members and regular guests, from the clubs founding, in 1872, to today.
The last Bohemian Grove encampment took place in July 2008. Heres an abridged schedule of events from the clubs program. Who knew the Grovers were so soulful?!
Saturday, July 12
9:15 p.m.Owl ShrineCremation of Care
Come join us as we raise the battle banners in the name of beauty, truth, peace and fellowship. Oh, Beautys Vassals, let us together seek the counsel of the Great Owl of Bohemia so that we may rediscover the wisdom needed to banish Dull Care once again!
Hail, Fellowships Eternal Flame!
[Around 9:30 p.m., V.F. reporter Alex Shoumatoff is apprehended.]
Monday, July 14
9:15 p.m.Campfire CircleSly Fox
Come enjoy an evening of laughter as we reprise this Broadway hit comedy. M*A*S*H creator, Larry Gelbart, provides a laugh around every crooked corner in this witty look at the workings of greed and lust. Come see why our jubilant City Club audiences gave this talented cast a Standing O!
Wednesday, July 16
9:15 p.m.Campfire CircleSam Cooke
Sam Cooke was one of the founders of Soul Music with 29 top 40 hits between 1957 and 1965, including You Send Me, Chain Gang, and Bring It On Home To Me. Join some of Bohemias most soulful vocal and instrumental talent as we celebrate the music of this legendary singer, songwriter, publisher and producer.
Thursday, July 17
10:30 a.m.Museum TalkThe Role of Nuclear in Americas Energy Choices, John Grossenbacher, Vice Admiral, USN, Ret., Director, Idaho National Laboratory.
Friday, July 18
12:30 p.m.Lakeside TalkAlways Present: The Role of Religion in American Politics, Hunter Rawlings, Professor of Classics and History, and President Emeritus, Cornell University.
9:15 p.m.Grove StageThe Little Friday Night
This is the night that size does matter. Our Little show takes over the BIG stage with BIG acts from Bohemia plus some surprise BIG names and that means BIG stars from the BIG time. Dont miss our show, its really, well, BIG!
[M.C.d by Christopher Buckley.]
Saturday, July 19
9:15 p.m.The Low Jinks, at Field CircleEasy Going
Set in a funeral home during the final days of prohibition, Easy Going asks that eternal Bohemian question, Whats the best way to get pickled? Will Prentice Boxem conquer his midlife crisis, derail his shrewish wife Barbaras political ambitions, and keep his business from going under? The Shadow knows, but hes not telling, so youre going to have to come to Field Circle and find out for yourself.
Monday, July 21
4:00 p.m.Fly Casting Demonstration at the Lake
Bohemian expert fly-casters Ray Lewis and Ralph Osterling will demonstrate and give tips. Extra rods will be available.
Wednesday, July 23
12:30 p.m.Lakeside TalkLife in the Press Room, Tony Snow, Bohemian, and Journalist.
[Cancelled due to Snows death.]
Thursday, July 24
12:30 p.m.Lakeside TalkIn Space, Charles Simonyi, Chief Executive Officer, International Software Corporation.
9:15 p.m.Jinks Band Concert at Field CircleThe Jinks Band Has the Blues
The mention of the blues generally conjures up images of soulful tunes about hard times and bad women. However, the blues can also be joyful, and the idiom is the foundation for an infinite variety of musical styles, including those of Bop masters Dizzy Gillespie and Charlie Parker and the sheets of sound of John Coltrane. Join conductor, John Capobianco, the Jinks Band and their great vocalists, Jamie Davis and Tom Liles, as they celebrate the blues.
Saturday, July 26
9:15 p.m.Field Circle ShowHitsville USA: the Motown Review
Founded in a Detroit row house named Hitsville USA, by Berry Gordy, Motown records created hit after hit after hit. In this show, we have assembled a band worthy of the Funk Brothers and a list of singers, including some surprise guests. From the opening piano lick in Money to the smooth sax of Jr. Walker there Aint No Mountain High Enough to keep us from bringing you a great show!